When Marriage hurts, there is a high possibility of making mistakes that will make matters worse.
Emotion is high, depression is setting in, anger is deep and worry is overwhelming, that is the period when people make more terrible mistakes, saying terrible things, do negative things, hurt themselves and their loved ones.
This are the things you must never do, when your marriage is really hurting:
1. NEVER SEPARATE
Some couples erroneously think that it is better to “give a gap” when there is crisis’’ to make tempers cool down. But the truth is, the longer you separate from your spouse the more difficult it becomes to come together again. It even makes it easier for the devil to use you against each other. Avoid separation as much as possible. Stay in that marriage to make it work. {Malachi 2:14-16}
2. NEVER INVOLVE A THIRD PARTY
There is always the temptation to involve outsiders whenever there is a crisis at home. But most of the time, third parties are biased and may not say the truth. They may even have hidden agenda, or be experiencing something worse in their own marriage. Also, they may not be knowledgeable to handle a marital crisis. If you must involve the third party at all, let it be your pastor or a qualified marriage counselor. “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh”. Gen.2:24. It’s better to involve professional, not pity party who will compound your issues.
3. NEVER GIVE UP
Don’t give up on your marriage; it is not yet over. Never say you have tried your best. Until your marriage becomes the best, you have not put in your best.
4. NO DIVORCE
It is a grave error to think that divorce is the best option for you under any circumstances. There is no happiness in divorce. Research has shown that many divorcees end up living sad and frustrated lives. Wisdom demands you don’t join them.
Never think of divorce; don’t even consider it as an option. Stay in that marriage to make it work. Don’t end that marriage at this point. Fight for your marriage, you will surely win.
5. DON’T GIVE-IN TO ALCOHOL OR DRUG
Lots of people do find solace in drugs and alcohol when their marriage hurts, making more mistakes in the process.
Engaging or saying wrong things under the influence of alcohol is very easy so, avoid these substances.
6. DON’T COMMIT SUICIDE
Life is more precious than marriage. Don’t kill yourself, it will be the greatest error of your life to kill yourself because of your marriage, your spouse will move on after your burial.
7. DON’T KEEP MALICE
Avoid keeping malice. Talk, you can’t solve the problem without talking, discuss it.
8. DON’T FIGHT DIRTY
Telling people about your spouse’s secrets, fighting openly, and cursing, destroying domestic properties are all dirty. Don’t do it.
9. DON’T SAY OR DO WHAT YOU WILL REGRET LATER: Talk less, don’t say or do what you will regret. Don’t speak out of anger, there is danger in anger. Be careful, do everything to solve the problem, don’t compound it.
Read More »
